Today was one of the worst days (academically speaking) of my life. I’m more than likely going to get a W in a class. Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. And I’m in grad school and this is independent research so its so fucking embarrassing. I cried twice today. Like BAWLED. And I barely ever do that. Fuck.
I’ve been sort of…. *down* lately. I have a lot of people in my life with clinical depression and anxiety so I know its not anything like that. A significant reason for this is probably because I’ve had the most busy semester I’ve ever had and it’s nearing the end of it and everything is due and I’m exhausted from that. Also, I weigh the most I’ve ever weighed so I’m having trouble dealing with that. A lot of the time I just want to sleep.. and sleep… and sleep (the excess weight probably doesn’t help). I will graduate next May and I think it is time to make my physical and mental health a top priority. I don’t really know how to move forward but I think my resilience is one of my best qualities so hopefully that will carry me through. Oh, to be a twenty something. These are equally the best and worst years of my life. So it goes.